Charlie's Birth Story

I spent most of my third trimester telling myself I was going to be late. Charlie is my first and I did not want to be impatient, I wanted this little girl to cook as long as she needed to! About two weeks before my due date I could feel some changes taking place and I then started to wonder if this little one would even make her January 22nd due date! Here is Charlie's birth story.

What I remember...Phase 1: The flood of emotions

Around 5:30 pm on January 14th, I was in the kitchen on the phone with my mom, when I felt the completely uncontrollable stream of warm liquid running down my leg.

"Mom, I think my water just broke, I have to go!"
I called my midwife, Denise, right away and we had to laugh because there was a pretty good snowstorm going on and we had actually rescheduled a prenatal appointment that I would have been in at that exact time.
Once I got done making my phone calls, all that was left to do was wait. My husband, Kevin, wouldn't be home for another hour or so and Denise had told me to try to rest. Yeah right. I moved from excitement, to fear, to anxiety, to tears...there had to be 20 emotions that passed through me in that hour before Kevin got home. 
When he did get home he seemed more nervous than I was.  He stirred around the house and kept asking me "what next?" His nerves helped me calm down, as he aired up the pool and picked up the house. I remember getting him to sit for a bit and say a prayer with me. 
I started some very mild contractions not long after my water broke, but it wasn't until around 1 am that they became too uncomfortable to stay in bed. I moved downstairs about the time my sister got to my house from her drive here to be with me. She sat with me for a bit and we timed some contractions together before she went to try to get some rest. 
Slowly throughout the morning of the 15th the contractions got more intense. I remember my sister mentioning that I was pretty talkative between them. The pool situation wasn't looking good, as it had slowly started to deflate overnight, but I wasn't too worried. I stayed in touch with Denise and she stopped by several times throughout the day to check on us and see how things were progressing. This little one was going to be about a week early but otherwise seemed in no hurry to enter the world. I should have suspected as much, as I felt like I already had to learn a lot of patience though out the pregnancy. 
We suspected (hoped!) that after the arrival of my mom that afternoon, labor would speed up a bit. I was so happy that it looked like she would make it here for the delivery! This was not something we had expected and things were working out beautifully in this matter. Her arrival came and went, and labor progression remained on a slow steady track. 
Alison (midwife #2) arrived at the house late that night and by then the contractions were intense enough to require my attention. I was starting to loose track of time and just remained focused on my breathing. I had made up a little notecard flip book of quotes and scriptures to reflect on during my labor and there was one verse that I found myself reverting to, over and over again. 
2nd Corinthians 12:9
And He said to me, "My grace is enough; it is all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness." I just let Christ take over. And so the weaker I get the stronger I become.
Late into the night, Denise and Alison talked me into getting into bed and trying to get some sleep. My body was already exhausted and active labor has not even started. The house was so still and quiet. Time is still a bit of a blur but I can remember waking between more intense contractions and I swear I could hear everyone in the next room breathing. 

What I remember...Phase 2: Time becomes lost 

The morning of the 16th brought time for a change. Once everyone was up and moving, Denise and Alison decided it was time to move to the birth center in Westby; hoping that the new environment would help move things along. As much as I had wanted a home birth, I knew in my heart this was a good decision. I didn't hesitate to agree, although the thought of sitting upright in a car for half an hour terrified me. The contractions were super intense by now and I had horrible visions of having my baby in the car one the way up. Fortunately this did not happen. 
Somewhere along this drive is about when I began to loose track of time. I think my eyes were closed almost the whole trip as I tried to focus on breathing. 
I remember really just wanting someone to hold my hand each time a contraction came on, and my mom and my sister took turns at this from the back seat. 
I remember having to stop on the stairs up to the birth center for one of the strongest contractions yet.
I remember the relief of finally getting into the pool, and then some fear of not feeling grounded enough when a contraction came. I labored there for awhile, clinging to the edge of the pool and feeling the cool cloths being placed on my neck and back, until I got too hot and had to get out. 
I remember the fleeting moments of panic I would get whenever Denise or Alison asked me to move or try to go to the bathroom.  
I remember the sound of my moms voice and Alison encouraging me to make low sounds just like her...move the sound down, let the pain come, that is what is bringing your baby. 
I remember looking at my mom, asking her in amazement, "you did this three times?!?!"
I remember my husbands touch, his bearded face somewhere between an encouraging smile and worry for me, for pain he couldn't fix. He told me later, that when I looked at him, I would either tell him I loved him or look like I wanted to punch him. 
I remember being on all fours and hearing my mom tell them about the tattoos on my back. I am not sure how much later it happened, but sometime after Denise and Alison began to sing,
"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be." 
These words are tattooed on my back for my father, Charlie. Words that were played at his funeral. If I had energy for tears, they would have come then. 
I remember finding energy for tears at one point, coming back from the bathroom. I think it was because I knew it was almost time to meet my baby, but I am honestly not sure. 
I remember sleeping in between the last of the contractions before the pushing came. After two nights of pretty much no sleep I had to be exhausted. I may have found labor land, but I am not sure. All I know is that I was ready to be done, but my baby had other plans. Again, a test of my patience. I wish I could say I embraced it but I feel like I fought it at times. Ran from the pain. 

What I remember...Phase 3: The power of creation moves through you

The final check came and I was dilated to 10.  It was time to think about pushing! I think I was honestly more scared than excited at this point. The biggest job, the hardest job yet, and I already felt like I had completed the worlds longest endurance race. 
I remember the low relaxing light of the room and more of Alison's words; It's the hardest job you will ever do...All women find the strength. The urge to push did not come right away but the memory of that first push will never leave me. It was the most powerful and intense feeling I have ever had. There are no words to appropriately describe it. 
I remember trying several different pushing positions...if the thought of moving before had scared me, it was downright terrifying now. I could tell my baby was getting lower and lower just by the position of the Dopplar each time Denise checked the heartbeat. Steady the whole time. 
I remember only finding two positions that worked for me. One was seated backwards on a chair, bracing myself on Alison's legs for a time, then switching to Kevin's lap. I broke the top of that chair, fortunately not beyond repair. I was not be able to deliver in that position though, they couldn't see the baby well enough. I found myself back in the other position that worked for me; lying on my side with one foot braced on someone's shoulder and the other into someone's knee. I am pretty sure almost everyone took a turn helping me here.
I remember when my husband finally came back into the room, as his voice stands out in my mind the most. I could feel the tears in his beard as he rubbed my back, held my hand and told me how great I was doing. I could almost hear the smile and anticipation in his voice. 
I remember the might and power of my baby moving lower and lower as we worked together. I remember Alison telling me the sounds that worked the best when I would bear down and make the most progress. She told me when I could reach down and feel the baby's head getting lower and lower as I pushed. 
I remember getting scared again, running from the intensity. Even as the baby was crowning I remember feeling scared over excited. But I knew it was finally time to meet my baby! This unknown person who already owned my heart in ways I never though possible. I did find the strength, and the feeling of relief when I felt her head come out was insane. The next contraction brought my daughter into the world, complete with a set of lungs. The crying baby was placed on my chest and I think I may have asked about her little conehead before I even asked if it was a boy or a girl. She was perfect, my little Charlie JoAnn. 
I believe it was around 12 hours of active labor and approximately 4 hours of pushing. I could not have asked for a better team of midwives or support. The whole pregnancy and on past the birth, Denise and Alison have surpassed all of my expectations and I am forever grateful. I will cherish these women for the rest of my life.

Pregnant and Out of Control...Part II

The Third Trimester:

I have to admit, I almost decided not to publish this Part II followup to my previous post...I honestly feel like I didn't have too many complaints or humorous stories. My third trimester was the only time I actually enjoyed being pregnant. I attribute this largely to the fact that I finally LOOKED pregnant, not chubby. Plus I could finally feel the baby moving; and man did she move a lot! I was worried that she would never sleep because I swear the only time she wasn't moving was when I was the one moving.

(Fortunately this is not the case, Charlie is pretty much a rockstar sleeper and I couldn't ask for a better baby. I hate to brag...ok not really...but she sleeps like 5-7 hours at a time, almost every night! We have, of course, had our bad nights, but not too many of them!)

Of course there were a few things that were definitely not normal for me...raging hormones and leaky boobs were mildly annoying. I am not much of a crier, but it was like someone flipped a switch on around week 28. Fortunately this was on a come-and-go basis, not a daily thing.

I can't go without mentioning the continuing saga of the super smeller and my hubby's gym shoes.
At the time, I couldn't even stand next to him when he was wearing them. I distinctly recall a night when he left them in the bedroom with me. I may or may not have thrown them down the stairs... I then took full advantage of the Christmas season during this time and Kevin received a new pair of shoes and some socks for his gift. (Love you Kev!)

Let's talk briefly about nesting and pregnancy brain...both of these are very real things! It was nearly impossible for me to simply just "sweep" or "vacuum." I am also pretty sure it took me like a whole week to vacuum my bedroom because I took it upon myself to move all the furniture and get into every corner. One morning I set out to clean a cupboard shelf for bottles...four and a half hours later I emerged from my squeaky clean, super organized kitchen with a giant garbage back of discarded items.

As far as the pregnancy brain goes, I am pretty sure I drove past the turn for work no less than 10 times, somehow managed to accidentally wipe my boss's camera SD card, misplaced another camera at work (fortunately recovered), and left a stove burner on (with the pan still on it)...sigh...

There were a few little things, such as the cankles. Fortunately I figured out that this swelling was directly related to my intake of sweet foods and I was able to get a handle on this. I did have this weird thing where my right leg would fall asleep, usually while standing or up teaching a class. I never did figure that one out and it hasn't happened since baby came.
The calf spasms...oh the calf spasms! I was lucky enough not to have many, but each one stands out with a burning vibrance in my memory. I had one that woke me up in tears, like my leg was having seizure. I just couldn't get my foot to flex the way it needed to, to release the cramp. I pretty much flew out of bed and had to smash my foot flat onto the floor. Poor Kevin probably felt as if he were under attack in the early hours of that morning.

In hindsight this all seems pretty minor, especially given the wonderful gift I received at the end of it all! I actually felt so good that I even did an arm workout the day my water broke. I am looking forward to sharing Charlie's birth story with anyone interested and will post this soon. (Sooner if I get enough requests for it!)
Until next time dear readers, stay healthy!
~Lindsay

Lemon chicken with artichokes

I modified this recipe from one I found at www.balancedbites.com, so do with this as you will!

1-2 lbs chicken breasts or thighs (cut into strips if using breasts)

1 organic lemon

1 can sliced water chestnuts

1 cup or 1 can of artichoke hearts

1-2 TBS coconut oil

4-6 TBS grassfed butter

*mushrooms would also be good with this but I didn't have any on hand!

In an oven safe/stovetop safe pan (ie: cast iron) heat coconut oil. Brown/sear your chicken quickly on each side. Slice and juice your lemon on top, add water chestnuts and artichokes. Slice your bitter and space it around the pan on top. Bake at 375 for approximately 15-20 minutes. (This will vary for how big and thick your chicken is cut. Check it every 10 minutes or so!)

Beet Soup with Tarragon

So this simple soup turned out amazing and I had to share! I used the stellar performance if a Vitamix blender for this so please adjust as needed.

*And my disclaimer, as always, I don't really measure anything, so always adjust to your tastes!

4-6 medium sized beets 

2 cloves garlic

juice and zest of 1 whole lemon

1 can of full fat coconut milk

Fresh Tarragon leaves

Sea salt and pepper to taste

Dice and steam your beets. I steamed the garlic as well for a milder garlic flavor. SAVE THE WATER! Add cooked beets to the blender with the rest of your ingredients plus approximately 1 cup of the remaining water from steaming. You want this because there are nutrients in the water from the beets! Adjust quantity according to desired texture. May need to add more plain water. Purée in blender till smooth!

Food For Thought

I spend a lot of time thinking about the different questions I receive, as well as the questions I read about and/or listen to on podcasts. So many of them are, in the end, very similar; we look for a way to hold onto certain things and wanting to justify our choices and actions. While our awesome brain-to-body mass ratio is what sets us apart as a species, our brains are also often what get us into the most trouble. We are so prone to OVER-thinking, to reading too much into things - while at the same time being subjected to the copious amounts of priming and advertising in our society that our innate instincts become limited and we begin to make decisions that are not good for us...often finding some way to justify them. Thus is human nature.

Since awareness is a key player, I want to talk about priming for a moment. As defined by the ever-accessible wikipedia: Priming is an implicit memory effect in which exposure to a stimulus influences a response to a later stimulus. Since this, among other psychological practices, can influence our decision making, it is used a lot in sales and marketing. Think about the first thing you see in our grocery stores. You walk in on one end of the store and the first thing you smell is freshly baked bread. Take it from a girl who hasn't eaten a piece of bread in two years, it still smells amazing! How does this prime us to view the racks of baked goods just beyond the registers? Fresh and delicious perhaps? 

Maybe you enter the store on the other end and the first thing you see is some amazing display of fresh flowers or produce. This is not something done by accident. Think about how this may set the tone of your whole trip...priming us for our shopping. When we see these beautiful or fresh displays, does it influence our opinion about how fresh everything in the rest if the store is? Of course it does! The same holds true for the picture of the farm house or the sunny pasture on the packages of bacon or cartons of milk. What do you think this tells us about what we are actually purchasing? 

In the end, these things mean nothing. Priming tells us absolutely nothing about what is inside of the package, yet it influences us; priming our minds to project a bit of a fantasy onto it. But here is the kicker...priming doesn't work anywhere near as well if you are prepared for it, if you are looking for it. Could this potentially help you make better decisions? 

There seems to be a pretty general consensus among most - changing your diet and lifestyle is not easy! I would like to call out the important distinction between simple and easy here. The changes that need to be made really are simple changes, but that does not necessarily make them easy to do. Take smoking for example. We all know smoking is bad for us, and the solution is simple. Either don't smoke, or quit. Anyone who has ever actually done the latter can tell you, quitting smoking is not easy! (I am one of these people!) The key player for me was all mental. You must get your mind right, change your way of thinking. Making these conscious changes to my thought process is the only thing that has gotten me to where I am today, smoking, exercise and otherwise. (You can read my full bio here.) 
I have written about mental shifts and changing your thought process in the past, and you can read one such post here. There is only one I want to touch on at this moment: Do something everyday to remind yourself why you have decided to make different, healthier choices! Knowledge is power, and while I am approximately two years into my own life-changing journey, I still do this. Make checklists, write down your goals daily, express gratitude for the wonderful life you have been given, read a blog, listen to a podcast, talk to like-minded people, ask questions...there are ENDLESS possibilities to surround yourself with the right people and create the right mentality for your own journey.

I would like to end by giving you some food for thought:

• Your body seeks health and homeostasis! It doesn't want to get things like lung cancer, therefore if you don't smoke, your body won't develop lung cancer. The same holds true for obesity and other metabolic disorders. Your body does not want to be overweight and diabetic, therefore you just have to feed yourself the proper diet and exercise!
• If your diet drink has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the heck are you drinking?
• Breakfast: (one of the most frequent questions I get) Don't let Kelloggs and General Mills tell you what is breakfast food! This morning I mixed a bunch of sautéed veggies with eggs, poured it into muffin cups and baked it to get little "egg cupcakes." Yesterday I ate a salad...for breakfast! Don't limit yourself! 
• Following the latter: You cannot put a brand, patent or label on real food and real health. If a company is telling you their product is good for you, it is probably only good for their wallet.
• Most people will have no idea how good their body is designed to feel. You do not have to be one of these people!

Some awesome quotes from one of my favorite bloggers/authors, Jonathan Bailor: 

• The quality of the foods is what drives the quantity of calories we need to eat until we feel full. 
• Over 2/3 of the calories you burn every day has nothing to do with physical movement of any form, let alone exercise. Thinking of the body as this beautiful holisitic thing, with all these self regulating systems, and NOT as a mathematical equation can change EVERYTHING! It is critical to healing and sustaining health.
• The idea that you become fat by eating fat is just as silly as to say that you become green by eating green vegetables. (from - Uffe Ravnskov, MD, PhD, via Jonathan Bailor's book The Calorie Myth)
• Basing your diet on calorie count is like taking a medication that treats the symptoms of an illness, but doesn't cure the underlying cause. We can monitor our bodies all we want by tracking calories in versus calories out, but if we're not eating foods that fuel our biological processes and help to regulate our hormones, we're not curing our bodies.

Until next time, stay healthy and Eupraxia members, don't forget to utilize your trainers! That is what we are here for!

~Lindsay

Christmas Perspective Check

I have decided to share this story because it was such a much-needed reminder of meaning of the Christmas season. 
As most of you know, I am pregnant and have about 4-5 weeks to go. For the most part I can honestly say I have enjoyed the third trimester the most thus far...but that does not mean I do not like to complain every now and then, and maybe milk the annoying pregnancy side effects a bit.
In light of being pregnant and the holiday season, I have been missing my mom a lot lately. So when I called her to whine the other day, I was annoyed when she seemed distracted, interrupting me twice and then cutting our call short to take a call she said she had been waiting on. I blew it off for the most part, I consider myself pretty easy going, but I am now a bit ashamed of some of the first thoughts that went through my head. This is supposed to be all about me dammit!
Well when she finally called me back later, it was to tell me about the important call she had to take and it almost made me cry right there on the phone...first out of guilt, then out of sheer admiration for the amazing person my mom is.
She began by telling me about a girl who is a student at her school, whom had asked my mom if she could use the art room to make a tree topper for their tree at home; she and her father couldn't afford to buy one. The girl and her father had only recently moved there, after obtaining custody of her.
My mom made a few calls and has since pulled some things together, to not only help give this little family a well-deserved first Christmas together, but also some other things for them to use around their house; including a bed for a child who had been sleeping on the floor.
I have not been able to stop thinking about this. There is a big world out there, and so many of us forget that there are some seriously terrible things that happen to people. We forget to first thank God, to count our blessings, express gratitude and show some love and compassion to others.
The very nature of a complaint starts with a need that isn't being met. This story has put some of the motivators behind my complaints into a very different perspective. Today I began my day by thanking God for my cankles, sore back and never-empty bladder because it means I have been granted the gift of bringing a child into this world. A gift that reminds me of it's presence throughout each day, moving inside me and creating a feeling of love I never thought possible. Mom, I hope you know how amazing you are and thank you for bringing me back to reality this Christmas season. I love you and can't wait to see you when you come to welcome this little gift to the world!

Pregnant and out of control...Part I

I feel obligated to warn you, the following article contains what some may consider T.M.I. Pregnancy has all but demolished my modesty and I really wanted this to be as honest as possible! I am sure some of you can relate, some of you will find humor, and some of you may never read my blog again. This is a chance I am willing to take. Carry on...

In the early days, when my husband and I decided to try for a baby, I found myself frequently wondering and hoping that the changes I have made to my health and lifestyle would have a positive affect on some of the less than desirable pregnancy symptoms I had read about (and begun to dread). Let me be the first to tell you that since my body has been taken over by the life-sucking parasite precious life growing inside me, this is simply NOT THE CASE. Thus far, it seems that the only thing health has had a positive effect on was fertility. 

Case in point:

Hubby and I stop trying to prevent pregnancy in February. A couple of months go by and nothing happens. In April, we make an active attempt at it and POOF, four weeks later the test came back positive. For anyone who knows Kevin, his response may make you laugh... "It's too soon, I need more proof..." And just like that, the fun part was over.

Please don't mistake me here, we were ecstatic. I knew I was "late" and was waiting for that optimal morning pee to confirm it, so of course I was restless and broke out the test around at 5 a.m. Positive! Woke the hubby up and his first reply was a happy smile followed by, "that's awesome, will you still be pregnant in two hours?" An early preview of the kid on Christmas, I believe.

Due to a large family, and the ever-growing popularity of social networking, we made the decision to not tell anyone until the chance of miscarriage was lower, around 12 weeks. We made it about 8 of these weeks. Ok, ok, so I called my sisters and my mom like two days after I found out. Then felt bad so I confessed my sins to the hubby. Then felt worse and had to call his mom...and it went from there. The Facebook world may not have known until 12 weeks, but I can't be sure. So the first trimester begins.

The First Trimester:

I would like to start my saying I feel I was extremely lucky in the morning sickness department. Apart from a few instances of nausea, I never actually threw up and feel as if I dodged a cannonball as opposed to the usual bullet. Thank you Lord!

     False Hope

I felt pretty amazing the first 8 weeks or so. I actually felt stronger in the gym, and my energy was surged on my excitement and happiness. Slowly but surely, this energy began to disappear. For those of you who know me well, I operate on a pretty fast pace during my waking hours. It has been one of the many wonderful things about healthy lifestyle I have taken on. Around week 9-10, I found myself wanting naps for the first time in over a year. In an effort to listen to my body, I grabbed a nap as often as possible and am pretty sure I took more naps in two months that I had in the entire previous year. It was wonderful and frustrating at the same time. I love my life, my job and my energy levels. Again, for those of you who know me well, I am a bit of a control freak; so being exhausted all the time was extremely hard for me. I am fortunate to have flexible job hours that allowed me the time to sneak in the naps.

     The Super Smeller
While I did escape the full blown morning sickness, I learned that a heightened sense of smell can still lead to bouts of nausea and unexpected food aversions. The worst one happened way to close to home...it was the first time in 13 years that I realized how bad my husbands feet smell.

Just when you think you know someone so well...I only recently learned that he does not wear socks with his gym shoes. Seriously?!?! I have presently lost count of how many time I have almost thrown his damn shoes in the trash. I have set them outside a time or two, shut them in a spare room...the smell still lingers for hours. All threats of washing them were met a death stare and complaints about ruining the perfect fit. **I have to add here that the day before I was finally ready to publish this post, Kevin washed his shoes. I was in shock...until we realized that it didn't really seem to help...

The only other dramatic thing I ran into may have ruined me on asparagus forever...One of the gym locations I work at is next to a catering business and there was one day they were cooking something that smelled like overcooked, canned asparagus (aka dirty socks). I had to leave the building that day and the first thing I did when I got home was freeze the fresh asparagus I had just bought at the market a few days before. I have not even been able to stomach the thought of it since.

     Weird cravings? 
Maybe...I went through a phase where the only thing that sounded good was grapefruit or a combination of sweet potato, ground beef and eggs...kind of like a hash, but absolutely no seasoning allowed. The only thing that has really stuck around is my hankering for sweet potatoes. I have had to fight off many many ice cream cravings, managing to keep the indulgences at a minimum. As disgruntled as this makes me, my midwife insists my body will thank me later.

The Second Trimester:

    The Proverbial "Break"
I have had a lot of women tell me that the second trimester is the best. I had read/heard about a surge of energy and was very much looking forward to that. I quickly learned that the surge of energy for me just meant I wanted only one nap a day as opposed to two. A second round of applause for a flexible work schedule!

Nausea mercifully dissipated, only to be replaced by severe cramping (technically termed "round ligament pains"), which put another dent in my desired activity level. Workouts were becoming harder and long walks were pretty much out. Talk about learning to relinquish my control issues. My mom insists that this is good for me. I am not sure I am sold on this yet.

     Patience eludes me
I usually pride myself on my tolerance for people, my patience with my loved ones, and the ability to tune out the stuff that bothers me. This all seems to have been completely shut off. In fact, I am almost convinced the world has gotten dumber in the past few months. I would like to enter a disclaimer here: I apologize in advance for snapping at you, being short with you, or making some snarky comment that should have been kept inside my head. This applies to friends, family members, gym members and helpless passersby on the street. This is a temporary situation!


     Everybody poops...except me
Everybody Poops is one of my favorite children's books. Pregnant women are not mentioned in this book...for good reason. It took me weeks of trial and error, but I finally nailed down a blended concoction of aloe juice, tons of green veggies and a side shot of Braggs apple cider vinegar, topped with a probiotic that seems to keep things moving.
(Anyone interested in the exact recipe, message me for details - please note, palatable taste is not included.)

     The good stuff
Knowing it could finally hear us made me start to worry that the baby would think all I do is yell. I spend all day yelling in front of fitness classes, then come home and spend the evening yelling at the dogs. I felt I had to remedy this is a hurry and have been giving the little one a nightly dose of Bob Marley's Three Little Birds, along with some other soft-voiced sentiments. It is truly amazing how much love I already feel for the little bugger.

Week 15 was when I felt the first little flutters in my belly. I quickly began to look forward to the time I spend daily, sitting in concentrated silence, waiting for those little kicks...that quickly grew into big kicks. Soon enough I didn't even have to focus anymore, and now I can see my belly move from the outside!

Does this make it all of the above crap (or lack-there-of) worth it? Every. Single. Bit.

The Third Trimester: 
To come! I feel as if I have taken enough of your time for now :) Stay tuned for Part II!